Janie Parrish

You’re going to love these. Children writing about the ocean –Some of these are too much!!
1) – This is a picture of an octopus. It has eight testicles. (Kelly, age 6)

2) – Oysters ‘ balls are called pearls. (Jerry, age 6)

3) – If you are surrounded by ocean you are an Island . If you don’t have ocean all round you, you are incontinent. ( Wayne , age 7)

4) – Sharks are ugly and mean, and have big teeth, just like Emily Richardson. She’s not my friend any more. (Kylie, age 6)

5) – A dolphin breathes through an asshole on the top of its head. (Billy, age

6) – My uncle goes out in his boat with 2 other men and a woman and pots and comes back with crabs. (Millie, age 6)

7) – When ships had sails, they used to use the trade winds to cross the ocean. Sometimes when the wind didn’t blow the sailors would whistle to make the wind come. My brother said they would have been better off eating beans. (William, age 7)

– Mermaids live in the ocean. I like mermaids. They are beautiful and I like their shiny tails, but how on earth do mermaids get pregnant? Like, really? (Helen, age 6)

9) – I ‘ m not going to write about the ocean. My baby brother is always crying, my Dad keeps yelling at my Mom, and my big sister has just got pregnant, so I can ‘ t think what to write. (Amy, age 6)

10) – Some fish are dangerous. Jellyfish can sting. Electric eels can give you a shock. They have to live in caves under the sea where I think they have to plug themselves into chargers. (Christopher, age 7

11) – When you go swimming in the ocean, it is very cold, and it makes my willy small. (Kevin, age 6)

12) – Divers have to be safe when they go under the water. Divers can’t go down alone, so they have to go down on each other. (Becky, age

13) – On vacation my Mom went water skiing. She fell off when she was going very fast. She says she won’t do it again because water fired right up her big fat ass. (Julie, age 7)

14)-The ocean is made up of water and fish. Why the fish don’t drown I don’t know. (Bobby, age 6)

15)-My dad was a sailor on the ocean. He knows all about the ocean. What he doesn’t know is why he quit being a sailor and married my mom. (James, age 7)

With the last years passing of the famousK-9 Taco Bell spokes dog, I took a few minutes and looked on YouTube to see if I could view any of the commercials that we all grew to love that this famous chihuahua starred in. I should have known that they would have plenty listed he had been around for a good long time. I really loved this one.

HOW’S THIS FOR QUICK THINKING!

A senior citizen drove his brand new Corvette convertible out of the dealership. Taking off down the road, he pushed it to 80 mph, enjoying the wind blowing through what little hair he had left. “Amazing,” he thought as he flew down I-75, pushing the pedal even more.

Looking in his rear view mirror, he saw a State-Trooper behind him, blue lights flashing and the siren blaring. He floored it to 100 mph, then 110, then 120. Suddenly he thought, “What am I doing? I’m too old for this,” and pulled over to await the trooper’s arrival.

Pulling in behind him, the trooper walked up to the Corvette, looked at his watch and said, “Sir, my shift ends in 15 minutes. Today is Friday. If you can give me a reason for speeding that I’ve never heard before, I’ll let you go.”

The old gentleman paused then said, “Three years ago, my wife ran off with a State-Trooper. I thought you were bringing her back.”

 The trooper replied, “Sir, you have a good day.”

The best video ever, this always makes me laugh, I haven’t tired of it yet and I’ve been watching it for months now.O

OUCH CHARLIE

I love using my Yahoo Instant Messenger. It gives the opportunity to chat with so many of my close friends and family members quick and easy. I spend more time on my IM than I do on the phone. Works for me! Right now I have Verizon DSL but am seriously looking into switching to Hughes Net to see what broadband is all about. But no matter what I’ll always rely on my Yahoo IM>